Exit, Pursued by a Woman (Sex and the City, Part 1)

If one must suffer for one's art (or at least in the name of science) then I have truly given up a piece of my soul: I have at long last watched an entire episode of Sex and the CIty.

I had only ever been subjected to about 15 minutes of the show, encouraged by my ex-boyfriend's sister-- a person whom I respected and with whom I felt a sense of kinship. However, I had to walk out during the show, becuase I could no longer take the pain of my brain cells dying.

This show has an interesting phenomenon surrounding it-- take four trampy New Yorkers, a gross of condoms, and unleash them upon any man in sight. Yet, many women I respect and felt close to over the years have professed a liking for the show. My response, when the conversation inevitably turns to the show, has been, "That show is everything wrong with women in this country today." They seem slightly taken aback and, after reflecting for a moment, admit that it is trashy but it's "really funny." I've also been fed the same line about teen movies like "American Pie," which is not held up as the epitome of teen culture.

Perhaps my anger regarding Sex and the City causes me to read a little too far into the show, but the fact that the show is extremely pervasive and, through constant cultural reference, created a new liberated female infuriates me. With this bias, I followed my canary down into the coal mine of the pilot episode.

Let's begin with the superficial: when the main characters are together, it either looks like a yogurt commercial or a liquor ad. They are either seated around a table, eating chocolate cake (such indulgence!) dishing about sex, or they're trussed up and on the hunt in a club. Another food reference occurs when Carrie is at home talking on the phone, eating chocolate ice cream. This implies that chocolate is a substitute for the sex that these women need to live and that, since it is featured during "girl talk," no rational women would eat chocolate because she is dieting.

Now on to the theme: Carrie has a revelation (inspired by Miranda's comment during the chocolate cake session) that she should "just have sex like a man and not feel anything." This is a great philosophy if you are planning a career as a prostitute, but certainly is not a good tactic when you're trying to find love. If you feel nothing, then how would you ever be able to fall in love? Perhaps this is where many people see satire, but if dissociating sex from love is the only way for women to identify with their sexuality (personally and culturally) then we as a gender have just been gang-raped.

The flip side of this is Carrie's treatment of her friend Skipper (token sensitive guy). She seems to find him a novelty, the hopeless romantic who is waiting for his Princess Toadstool to come along, and after he begs her to set him up with a friend of hers, she throws him to the biggest shark in the group. Perhaps she's trying to wake him up (and get him to act more like a man, meaning having sex without feeling anything) or she might be trying to melt Miranda's bitter heart (picture the raisin of Mr. Burns' heart giving out one last squish of blood) but she knows that someone will inevitably get hurt, so why waste everyone's time? Skipper is naive and thus is punished, and Miranda gets a new chew toy.

The characterization of men as only interested in sex is lazy. Not only does this insult the guys out there who may actually have a heart (or even a brain), but it makes the ultimate message extremely despressing: sex is only an instrument of personal gratification. Allow me to quote the movie "Ghost World" where Charlotte says to Enid, "Then you haven't heard of the miracle of masturbation."

This review is a bit premature-- I understand that it is not fair for me to judge the whole series by the pilot episode. But, what have we taken away from it? Men only want sex (and if they don't then there's something wrong with them) but despite this, they are the lens through which women see themselves. Women should be looking for love, but since men don't want love, then it's okay to give up and just look for sex. Either way, woman is defined by man either as lover or sex toy. Women cannot simply exist for themselves. Hell, we can't even pleasure ourselves! How could we live alone and be happy?

I will subject myself to further episodes for you, gentle reader, but I need to give my esophagus a reprieve from all the retching.